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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
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If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
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Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
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I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
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To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
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Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/16/(Mon) 09:40
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